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PASSIVE VOICE…

When you hear the term voice mentioned in relation to a verb, it refers to the subject (or noun) acting or being acted upon.

Active voice indicates that the subject of the verb is acting - doing something.

Ex:  Ben Franklin discovers the secrets of electricity.

Passive voice indicates that the subject of the verb is being acted upon.  A passive verb is a combination of a "to be" verb and a past participle.

Ex:  The secrets of electricity are discovered by Ben Franklin.

If your writing seems slow-moving and impersonal, you may have used too many passive verbs.  With passive verbs, the subject of the sentence is the receiver of the action.

Ex:  The kite was struck by lightning.  

Above, the subject of the sentence (the kite) is the thing being struck.  Can you rephrase the sentence so that the subject of the sentence is the thing DOING the action (in this case, striking)?  This way your verb can show an action - striking.

Ex:  Lightning struck the kite.

The following is an example of a passage written in the passive voice:

Our biology teacher was greatly loved by us.  He was often asked for extra help, which was always given.  He was visited by his students before and after school and often was the object of our personal jokes and sincere praises.

Can you rewrite the above passage in the active voice?  How's this…

We loved our biology teacher.  We always asked for extra help, and he was always willing to give it.  Students often dropped in before or after school to visit, study, or play a practical joke.
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                 Topic Sentences
WHAT IS A TOPIC SENTENCE ?


A well-written topic sentence usually:

Falls at the beginning of each body paragraph.
Relates to the thesis (the sentence in your introduction that tells the reader what the whole paper is going to be about).
Tells your reader what your paragraph is going to be about and what you plan to say about it.

Here is a simple formula to follow:

a limited topic           +      a specific impression      =      a topic sentence.
"music"           +      "helps people relax"      =      "Music helps people relax."

When the reader reads this sentence, he or she can assume the rest of the paragraph is going to be about how or why, or in what ways, music helps people relax.

Follow these steps to check that you have topic sentences at the beginning of each of your body paragraphs:

-Number each of your body paragraphs.
-On a separate piece of paper, name in a few words what you are saying in each paragraph.
-If you have more than one point per paragraph, make a note of it.
-In your essay, write a topic sentence for each paragraph that states clearly what that paragraph is about (for example, "Music helps people relax." - you know the paragraph is going to be about music and the positive relaxing benefits it has on people).
-If you had more than one point per paragraph, break that paragraph into smaller ones so that each paragraph has its own point and its own topic sentence.

To check your work:  read just your thesis statement, each of your topic sentences, and the restatement of your thesis in your conclusion.  Do all the topic sentences relate to your thesis?  Do they cover all the points you made in the body of your paper?  These sentences should serve as a sort of "skeleton," the bare bones of your paper.

Writing Tics: Errors to Avoid

1.  Fragments:
 Read over your essay.  Make sure each sentence has a subject and a verb that reside in an independent clause.  

2. Comma splices:
 A comma splice is a common type of error in which you use a comma to link two independent clauses. Look over your essay....any long sentences? Look at these long sentences.  If you find any compound sentences joined by just a comma, simply add a coordinate conjunction, period,  or  semi-colon.
bad:      Susie went to the store today, she bought a personal computer.
better:  Susie went to the store today, and she bought a personal computer.
better:  Susie went to the store; she bought a computer.
better:  Susie went to the store today.  She bought a personal computer.


3. Excessive Word Repetition :
Synonyms are wonderful. Use them to avoid excessive word repetition.
-Ex:
BAD- Bob crept into the room,  preparing to scare his brother with his monster mask. Creeping slowly across the room, Bob adjusted the mask, knowing that his brother would be really scared by the scary green face of the mask. Reaching the end of the room, Bob checked the mask one last time and readied himself to scare his brother. "Boo!" yelled Bob. His brother, scared, jumped across the room. "You and that stupid scary mask! Stop creeping around!"

BETTER- Bob crept into the room, getting ready to frighten his brother with his evil mask. Slithering stealthily across the open space, the boy adjusted his costume. He knew that Bill would be scared out of his mind by the hideous green face. Approaching the end of the space, Bob secured his disguise and ducked behind Bill's armchair, prepared to pounce. "Boo!" cried Bob. Bill, startled, lept out of his seat. "You and your stupid ugly mask! Quit messing around!".

4. Syntax:
Syntax is the arrangement of words in a sentence. You need to vary sentence structures. Don't always use the same Subject-Verb-Object format. Using diverse sentence beginnings and lengths will add "spice" to your writing.